#sorry if this was incoherent stop
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made another skk comic because the other got way more attention than i though it would uhm?!
this was basically chapter 6 of wan but like more skk because where tf did chuuya even come from im cryingg
#zai.samoo core#skk for the heart soul and mind#skk#i love them#pls they#THEM#AAUUUGGHHHH#soukoku#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#atsushi nakajima#i heart atsushi nakajima.#skk is so silly what the hell#sorry if this was incoherent stop#please click for better quality#AND PLEASE CLICK THE LINK TO CHAPTER 6 IM GONNA CRY
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can't get over how fucked up and weird nahyuta is... like i don't mean in the surface-level haha "what's crack-a-lackin homie" way, i mean this kid who grew up on the run as essentially a wanted criminal, who got separated from his brother in the middle of his childhood, throwing himself into monk training and religion to find some semblance of peace and meaning to his suffering, only to end up tortured and held hostage by his own aunt and having years worth of blood on his hands from all the people he sent to their deaths... helpless and drowning with his sole hope being that dhurke would save him, then finding out that dhurke was already dead and he'd lost his chance to ever reconcile... and not wanting to lose apollo on top of it too, but not able to bring himself to sacrifice rayfa for it!! watching his mother get shot in front of his eyes!! his family members all being used against each other as chess pieces to control him!!! and there's nothing he can do!!!!
and like even just as a person the way he's so down to just infodump about whatever he's been researching and how his interest in science alongside his deep spirituality complements his partnership with ema, who he is way nicer to than literally any other prosecutor ever treats their detective, he's so weird and curious and genuinely sweet under the cruel faƧade... he is so much. can't get over how he's a prosecutor AND a monk and even a prince. he's literally the actual prince regent of a country. he's THE androgynous icon. and he's hot!!!
#sorry this is meandering and incoherent. yuty lives in my brain#can't stop thinking about this sad monk#ace attorney#aa6 spoilers#nahyuta sahdmadhi#random stuff#this is an appreciation post btw. in this house we love and appreciate yuty. no slander allowed#makes me sad when people call him boring or flat or badly written or whatever excuse#you don't have to like him or anything but he's pretty clearly as deep and complex as the other prosecutors#but the khura'in stuff is ~weird~ and ~foreign~ so suddenly people can't read#and they miss all this š you guys are missing out!! open your heart to nahyuta he's worth it š
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"you are me."
i have a lot of thoughts on this whole scene, both shipping and non-shipping ones. the relationship between yuuji and sukuna is honestly the most fascinating and complex one that i have seen in anime, and one of the reasons for that is just how much these two actually understand each other, which i don't think a lot of people realize. yuuji and sukuna see right through each other, more than anyone else does, and i think that's why their bond is far more personal than it seems to be.
yuuji and sukuna are enemies. they hate each other for their opposing ideals and characteristics. yuuji is caring, empathetic, protective, kind, and willing to put his life on the line for both friends and strangers. sukuna is narcissistic, self-absorbed, indifferent to suffering, murderous, unfeeling, and unconcerned with any life other than his own. they seem to be polar opposites in every way, so why would yuuji say something as contradicting as "you are me" to sukuna?
i think it's widely overlooked just how complex yuuji's character is. he's overall a "sweet" person, but he isn't very stable (he has been described by quite a few characters as being a bit "crazy"), he has a high tolerance for disturbing or gory things (he took learning about curses and fighting them very easily), he doesn't question the danger he's been put into (he actually runs headfirst into it), and he can be really violent and vengeful as well.
this is all explored very well in his confrontation with mahito, where he also says "i am to you" to the curse.
why are these scenes so different? mahito and sukuna both killed people yuuji knew and cared about as well as strangers that yuuji would die to protect. shouldn't yuuji be approaching sukuna with the same hate, disgust, and vengeance that he shows to mahito? shouldn't he be lashing out and making sukuna pay for all that he did?
why is he showing his "crazy side" to mahito but not to sukuna?
to give some context to this scene with mahito, the curse wanted yuuji to accept their similarities. and, in the end, yuuji did.
yuuji is acknowledging that he serves as nothing more than a weapon to keep killing the curses of the world, perhaps with no other deeper purpose than that. just like curses only exist to bring misery and prey on humans, yuuji's sole existence at this point is just to act on the orders of sorcerers: to keep eradicating curses and eventually help kill sukuna by dying with him. he doesn't need more meaning or roles than that.
but sukuna doesn't see yuuji as just another cog. he doesn't respect yuuji, true, and he loathes to give the brat any kind of credit. but he knows yuuji is the only one who really, truly cares about sukuna's devastating impact. the death of innocent strangers doesn't affect others quite as much as it does yuuji (even nanami in the vs mahito arc noted how much yuuji cared about the suffering of others).
and many of the other sorcerers are also not as horrified or repulsed by sukuna's actions as yuuji is. in fact, sorcerers and curses alike look up to sukuna. gojo actually seems to respect the king of curse's lifestyle. it feels like yuuji is really the only one to truly despise sukuna for his actions and ideals.
and sukuna knows this. sukuna knows how much the suffering of others gets to yuuji. which is why he gives yuuji such special treatment: he saves a unique brand of torment just for yuuji that he doesn't really give to anyone else.
sukuna intentionally returned control to yuuji's body just for yuuji to witness the massive damage and death that sukuna's domain expansion caused. it killed thousands of people, innocent strangers included.
it led to yuuji breaking down, even wishing for his own death. but yuuji is strong and, deep down, sukuna knows this. yuuji doesn't give up and instead uses his rage to fuel his fight with mahito, where he snaps and shows us his vengeful side. he doesn't need any other reason than mahito being a curse to want to kill him, over and over. that is yuuji's purpose. which seems like an uninteresting and boring one to someone like sukuna.
but for all that sukuna keeps calling yuuji uninteresting and boring, he shows a lot of investment in yuuji's growth and in their fights.
he's even invested enough to show disappointment when yuuji lost to choso. (if he thought yuuji was so weak, why did he seem so bothered by yuuji's loss here?)
and then sukuna looked surprised and curious when choso got hit with some kind of false memory empathetic attack that included yuuji in it. he's having a lot of strong reactions to someone he claims isn't interesting enough for him.
sukuna also loves to aggravate yuuji, somehow knowing how to provoke a strong reaction from him.
there's a lot of interesting things about this scene, one of them being that yuuji refers to sukuna as a "curse" which is technically untrue. sukuna is a sorcerer who used a set of cursed objects to send his soul into the future, but he isn't a curse himself.
but to yuuji, sukuna is nothing more than a curse because he doesn't show any sort of positive traits. sukuna's mindset reflects that of a curse since he only exists to please himself and loves to cultivate the kind of negative emotions curses are born of (fear, hate, jealousy, selfishness, etc).
there's also a clever reference to sukuna being a cannibal through yuuji saying "let's see if you can chew up me and my suffering." yet what we've seen throughout this story is yuuji essentially cannibalizing sukuna by eating his cursed fingers, which he calls the taste really gross. so i wonder... what would yuuji taste like to sukuna?
every human has a unique taste but all of them are fleeting to sukuna. there's no actual meaning or savoring to it. it's just a way for him to pass the time until death.
both yuuji and sukuna are cannibalizing as a form of destruction. but while yuuji is eating the cursed fingers so that he can hold all of sukuna inside of him for them to be exorcised together, sukuna was eating humans simply because he wanted to. he ate whatever he wanted because he was at the top. he is an apex predator with no real rivals or threats. it was for a completely self-absorbed and depraved indulgence while yuuji is giving up his life on this plan to save others.
yuuji and his suffering is the complete antithesis to how sukuna's eating only serves himself. which is very interesting to see when yuuji challenges sukuna to "chew him up." yuuji is proving to be more predator than prey and is far more of a challenge than sukuna wants to admit.
but maybe something about yuuji's resilience does please sukuna? maybe he actually finds worth in yuuji never giving up?
though he still underestimates and discredits yuuji's strength, he actually looks impressed with yuuji and seems even a bit eager to take him on again.
for someone who claims to find yuuji not worth his time, sukuna is showing yuuji far too much special treatment that he doesn't give to anyone else. he even calls yuuji a specific name (kozou) that he doesn't use with anyone else. others are just various offensive terms, but only yuuji seems to have a name just for himself.
sukuna is a really contradicting and complex character, and his relationship with yuuji really shows that.
i've seen a lot of anti-sukuna sentiment after his death, and i understand why a lot of fans hate him and celebrated when he died. however, i think a lot of fans have this somewhat inaccurate view of him being nothing more than a static villain with zero complexities and no chance of any kind of character development.
some of sukuna's most underrated and interesting traits are that he is actually pretty smart (he has an overall plan and is making all the right moves to get there), he's cultured (a poetry snob who hired a chef just to cook him humans instead of eating them raw, and perhaps he even knows more about flowers than he lets on), he shows respect to those he deems worthy and even seeks to learn from them, and he might not actually be the most "evil" person in jjk (which I consider to be kenjaku, but that warrants another post).
overall, sukuna is and has always been more than what he first seems, but a lot of fans don't want to see this or they overlook it.
after sukuna reveals he was an unwanted curse of a child, there was pushback against fans who interpreted this line as sukuna having a tragic backstory that explained his current self.
i understand why these fans don't want sukuna to be a sympathetic villain and i've read posts on how gege writes his villains to be intentionally unsympathetic.
from here (https://x.com/soukatsu_/status/1520796590612566022)
sukuna is the perfect example of a villain that is unsympathetic. he is horrifyingly strong, lives as he pleases, murders people for fun, is a literal cannibal, acts and appears monstrous, and makes our protagonist yuuji suffer over and over again. he represents exactly all the ideals and traits yuuji despises and the two of them are fighting each other because of this.
however, one thing i want to point out is just because sukuna is completely unsympathetic now doesn't mean he couldn't have had an actually tragic past that made him into this.
i believe that sukuna was seen as a curse from his birth on. much like how jogo wanted curses to be the true humans (sukuna calls this jogo essentially wanting to become human) sukuna became purely curse-like to escape being human. whether or not you empathize with him is irrelevant, because after he became the king of curses, sukuna has committed countless irredeemable horrors that even i, as a sukuna fan, don't ever want him to be forgiven or easily justified for doing.
having a tragic past doesn't justify his crimes, it only provides a catalyst for them. it explains why he, who was born human, became more of a curse than some curses are. you don't need to have sympathy for him after that. just like he has no sympathy for those he considers weak and inferior, he has no more reason to be a tragic character.
a lot of people acted like sukuna potentially having a tragic past that turned him into the monster he is now makes him "uncool" or "uncharacteristic" of himself but, to me, it makes his character all the more detailed without changing the fact that he is still purely "evil" and irredeemable.
but does this all make him incapable of character development?
i personally believe that yuuji has been affecting sukuna throughout the whole series, especially in these last few chapters.
i recently came across a post on reddit on why sukuna could never be more than a static villain character. one of the arguments was that gege never intended for sukuna to have any kind of redemption arc.
(https://www.reddit.com/r/Jujutsufolk/comments/16vphxl/sukuna_is_different_from_other_strongest/?rdt=36326)
(now, i couldn't find the original source where this interview came from, and it's not worded very well so i'm thinking it's been quickly translated. and there's always missed meanings and alterations to the original message when translations have been made, especially with japanese. i'm also not sure if the "him" being referred to is mahito or sukuna, but i'm assuming it can apply to both of them.)
this post was made about a year ago, so i assume this interview with gege is also a bit dated now. i think gege is intentionally vague in their interviews because they don't want to reveal too much, but my own interpretation of this post is that gege never intended for sukuna to get any sort of redemption because he is incapable of being redeemed through any kind of love.
and i agree with that. i don't want sukuna to get redemption. what he has done is unforgivable and i don't want him to get off easy for it. but him showing character development is not the same as him getting redemption. and him being affected by love isn't the same as him fully accepting it either.
in these last few chapters, yuuji has offered mercy to sukuna multiple times, despite how even he himself considered it to be a lost cause.
as i wrote earlier, yuuji is the only character who really understands how terrible and curse-like sukuna is. he hates sukuna on this fact alone. yuuji told mahito that his purpose is to kill curses, and sukuna - in the end - is nothing more than just another curse.
so why did yuuji suddenly change all that up and show empathy and genuine concern for sukuna in these last few chapters? why was he trying so hard to convince sukuna that they can co-exist?
one of my sukuita-cult friends (flight-of-death) pointed out that during his fight with yuuji, sukuna explicitly recalled his conversation with kashimo about not needing another person to fulfill him.
while sukuna saying he didn't anyone else to fulfill him was relevant during his discussion with kashimo, it's very interesting that he was remembering his own exact words about it while facing down yuuji, who was making sukuna doubt some of his previous statements.
my friend has convinced me that sukuna and yuuji have found a "reluctant fulfillment" in each other. and i think this is proving to be very much possible.
yuuji was alone most of his life. without wasuke there for him, he could have turned into a ruthless monster like sukuna. yuuji has so much physical and emotional strength, but it was the catalyst of wasuke's death that motivated yuuji to use that strength for good. he might have chosen to be selfish and only concerned with his own wants and needs like sukuna did, but wasuke provided the role yuuji needed to be the selfless person he is now.
i think that yuuji, in all his loneliness, found a kind of closeness to sukuna, even if it was unwanted. and sukuna has definitely been affected by yuuji, too.
as sukuna is dying, megumi finally regains control. he notices how sukuna seems to be scared of death.
sukuna genuinely does look concerned about dying. his mouths are in the shape of a grin but are turned upside down and look more like actual dread. for someone who claimed that eating people was only a way to pass the time until death, sukuna now looks unwilling to die.
i think that this shows that sukuna gained some sort of respect for life, even if it was only in his will to keep living. he does seem to want to keep existing, and it's interesting that it's what yuuji offered him.
yuuji was created by kenjaku to be sukuna's vessel. the sorcerers wanted to use yuuji as a vessel to hunt down all the cursed fingers so that yuuji and sukuna would die together. no matter how you see it, sukuna and yuuji were bound to end up either living or dying together. that is their fate. but now that he has more power in making his own choices, yuuji seems to genuinely want to share the kinder fate with sukuna: to live together. and if you think about it, them coexisting makes a lot of sense.
sukuna has been described as a natural disaster, so how can yuuji have any kind of empathy for something as devastating and unfeeling as an earthquake or a tsunami? in truth, the human race has been coexisting with natural disasters since the beginning - especially japan, which has weathered many terrible calamities. yuuji is a lot like the embodiment of the resilience and strength needed to survive such disasters, so i think he's more than capable of handling a life with sukuna, especially if sukuna is far more subdued.
and sukuna being allowed to live isn't redemption at all. though it would be a form of character development for him, it would still be one of the most selfish things he could do, as it would mean condemning yuuji to an indefinite amount of time with sukuna.
but yuuji seems to want that. he is willingly offering up the rest of his life to sukuna, for them to live together.
personally, i don't consider this to be a form of redemption in any way. he is proving sukuna's mindset wrong, not forgiving him. just accepting his nature and still offering a way to coexist.
i think that by offering this to sukuna, yuuji would essentially become that person that sukuna claims he doesn't need to feel fulfillment. but it's clear to me sukuna wasn't satisfied with his life in the past, since he couldn't offer an explanation to kashimo about why he chose to cross the ages as cursed objects. he is obviously lying or beginning to doubt his own words.
and i think that's why he chose death.
accepting yuuji's mercy, finding that fulfillment sukuna denies needing, would be very un-curselike of him and he can't have that. he would rather be seen as an inhuman monster than something capable of accepting love.
so in the end, sukuna is doing exactly what gege said he would: rejecting love and rejecting anything that makes him less of a curse.
but yuuji isn't easily pushed away. he kept coming back for wasuke and i think that if he really does care that much about sukuna, that if he's wiling to live with him even if no one else accepts it, he won't let sukuna go without more of a fight either.
they can still find fulfilment in each other. they are capable of coexisting. and if sukuna decides to make that change, it doesn't necessarily mean he's completely broken character. and if they don't get to survive together in this lifetime, there's still a good chance for change if they're reincarnated.
#omg this was way too long im so sorry#please forgive me#i just went and put all my thoughts into one oversized rant#that is too incoherent and could be so much shorter#i think i need to stop writing these until i can do it better#tysm for reading it all if you did#i hope it made some sense#please correct me if im wrong with anything#honey posts#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#itadori yuuji#sukuita#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#meta
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The Summer Hikaru Died and onomatopoeia
I've wanted to gush about this topic for a while and i have no organized thoughts but a lot of feelings i need to get out. First and foremost being "Holy shit this manga is so damn loud" which is a weird feeling to have since manga is generally understood to be a silent medium.
And yet the Mangaka MokuMoku Ren has filled their work to the brim with sound. Now comics using onomatopoeia (words that echo a noise ie: crunch) is nothing new the sound of a fist hitting it's target and walls being wrecked is nothing new. But usually onomatopoeia is worked into whatever action is resulting in the noise
adding both a sense of motion as well as sound. Which is what makes The Summer Hikaru Died's use of it so unique and compelling. To utilize onomatopoiea you have to give up on space that could otherwise be going to deatil work in the background or foreground. Now this is fine with smaller unobtrusive effects like Wolverine's claw extending, and there's numerous example's where a sound will take up large portions of the page to show how loud something like a bomb going off is. But i've yet to see another comic western or otherwise so consistently use this facet of the medium to instill such claustrophobia and dread. As a slower paced horror manga The Summer Hikaru Died builds it's suspense mostly through atomosphere, the supernatural happenings weighing on the surrounding evironment until they break the surface
The use of sound is heavy, it's harsh, it's a vehicle to show how wrong things have gotten from the whisper of "it's coming" heard in the ringing bell of a train crossing to the omnipresent call of birds, bugs, and frogs that pushes in on the paneling shrinking the world with their cacophony.
the way sound shrinks the world making reader and character both feel suffocated by the drone is matched by how the manga uses silence as a way to make the characters feel exposed and vulnerable. the page is now empty of distraction the world of the story on full display and it still feels wrong it's agorophobic, at least amidst the din there was some sense of anonymity being just one voice among hundrends.
even the speech bubble feels out of place as it wanders off desperate to fill the space. The manga is full of these moments of sound and silence in some dance with eachother always too much or too little, never comfortable. It adds a lot to the horror of the manga, and is just one part of many that makes The Summer Hikaru Died such an excellent manga, every chapter I can feel my skin crawl as the setting becomes more hostile to the charactres while they uncover more of the truth of their circumstances.
#i didn't know how to end this so i just stopped writing#the summer hikaru died#hikaru ga shinda natsu#i wrote this at 2:30am so sorry if it's almost completely incoherent#manga#horror#i thouroughly reccomend writing something in a way that would make your english teacher want to scalp you very therapeutic
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something in the silverflint conversation in 3x10 that i always found sooo well done is how flint reacts to everything thatās being said. like technically we should be expecting the scene to be about silverās reaction to flintās confession (and it is about that ofc). but toby stephens put so much care into flintās emotional state there. like. he confesses to silver. not knowing what his reaction will be. then thereās that moment when heās like āyou donāt have to say anythingā which to me personally hit so close to home (every coming out experience iāve had being mostly about like. not trying to impose anything onto the other person or not being seen as overbearing or anything). and then silver goes on his crazy tangent and you can feel how weird it all is to flint. like heās nervous and anxious and then a bit angry and hurt when silver says itās kinda his fault all his lovers are dead lol. but then you see how that tension bleeds out of him bit by bit. as if he were telling himself āokay weāre jumping over this. weāre not dwelling on that. itās okay. i donāt have to explain myself further. itās over.ā when silver continues with his speech. and then he even starts to be a little amused by silver and cracks that joke at the end. cause at the end of the day silver says he has his friendship and thereās no judgment there. like idk how to properly articulate it but that moment feels so genuine for flintās character so. yeah
#this is long and incoherent sorry. but i just. canāt stop thinking about this#itās been years since iāve seen this scene for the first time and yet i REMEMBER how appropriate it felt and how real#anyway. s3 what the hell.#black sails#silverflint#sails.txt
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downfall has me thinking about the prime deities far more than is best for my mental health and so iāve been rewatching c1 just because so many of the pcs have relationships with the gods ā even percy and keyleth who hold lower opinions of the gods still have relationships with them ā and good grief . you ever think about whitestone as this bastion of love that the gods still have for one another and the love that a party of idiots have for one another. that the centrepiece of the town is a tree from the dawnfather, one used for the builders of castle whitestone to take shelter from the tumultuous lands of the alabaster sierras. a mountain range that came about out of the conflict between the dawn father and the chained oblivion.
the fact that the family that whitestoneās lost son found and brought back with him amounted to two temples being erected, and how fitting that after defeating the briarwoods, the two gods that are given new houses of worship in whitestone are the gods of death and redemption, fate and compassion. do you ever think about how many of vox machina are champions but how much the ones who are not are still held in good faith by the gods, whether or not that is returned? do you ever think about the raven queen telling percy he is broken and reminding him that does not mean he is alone, that means he is mortal, as are all those whom he loves. do you ever think about percyās death letter, read by vox machina in a tavern as he tells them that the raven queen calling him broken finally opened his eyes to the fact that he has chosen his life (and thus, he might choose better), writing āone the lie [that vengeance would bring my family back] was shattered, I scrambled to find a solution, to make a deal, to undo my mistakes and balance the scales. I now understand that there are no scales. There is no redemption, and no ledger that judges me good or evil. I am free to simply be myself and live with the terrible mistakes Iāve made. Tomorrow, I start upon a path beyond the gods and demons who have tormented me, and itās your friendship that makes this possible. [ā¦] I will try and do my best for you all.ā and signing it Percival, of Vox Machina - the family he found and chose, not the one he lost and buried himself in vengeance to avoid. and fucking, vex having just heard percy forgive ripley also hearing those words and having carved the word forgive on the weapon she carries who has a conversation with him to remind him (and herself) that committing to forgiveness over grudges and vengeance means also forgiving the person heās been that prioritized vengeance. the fact that one of the main things they bond over is that they have similar dispositions to justice and a similar unwillingness to forgive but they both see that in themselves as something they wish to improve at, and that when they eventually marry, each time is by someone devoted to a god neither of them necessarily worship but each of which oversees a domain particularly relevant to that connection - keeper yennen is a worshipper of erathis, and thus the justice that both percy and vex care to honour; pike is a worshipper of raei, and thus the redemption that both vex and percy seek (and see in one another). do you get it.
and god the entirety of the final arc of vox machina is truly some of the most interesting cr content for me just because you get the silliness and depth of vox machina in the face of these Beings On High and they all gaze at these idiots trying to save the world with fondness and the realization with downfall that in many ways those gods were just as much idiots trying to save the world makes that so, so interesting. and i wonder what mightāve happened if one of the gods theyād gone to see had been the lawbearer or the wildmother, what might have been made of percy and keyleth. i wonder if the lawbearer might have taken an interest in a calculating and curious man who loves to strike a deal and stick to it, even if manipulating the contents of the deal made to better suit his ends - especially given that percy was rejected by ioun for his propensity not to share his knowledge, and especially given that whitestone has a historical precedent for worship of the lawbearer. and i wonder what the wildmother would make of an angry girl who is fated to watch the people and places she loves be irrevocably changed and die, who wields her vestige, and who favours the world and itās people over the gods and their rules ā something iām willing to bet melora would find some common ground with.
thereās also some beautiful symmetry between the relationships of the gods to which vox machina become champions and their own relationships with one another. and iāve made my post about vax and vex vs. the matron of ravens and the dawn father, but i also think quite a lot about vex and scanlan vs. pelor and ioun. vex and scanlan who can be quite antagonistic to one another but also understand each other as few others do; scanlan who tells the dawn father that vex is not perfect but she is the most perfect among them, vex who hears the knowing mistress tell scanlan that his stories give vox machina strength and genuinely tells him itās true and that he is very powerful, even when he tries to joke about it. ioun and pelor were the ones to take on tharizdun, ioun nearly perishing and having to hide away to recover. when vox machina asks pelor for her location he doesnāt know it. and fuckin. dalenās closet. should be a silly little wedding oneshot ends with fuckin. vex glowing with the light of the dawnfather as her and percy, the living son of whitestone, are married by pike who is a cleric and is also the champion of the god of redemption, where the champion of ioun turns into a. dinosaur to walk his friend down the aisle and then grants a wish so that she can see her brother again and the champion of the matron of ravens comes to visit - something that is explicitly stated to be allowed by the matron of ravens. where a twin glowing like the dawn and a twin darkened by raven feather embrace. do you get it . do you see it. the fact that the first story we all heard in exandria was one of a family threatened by fate who could not beat it but did their best with it and that now downfall, the newest story but with parts of the oldest story in exandriaās timeline, is the same. a family who is doing the best with what they have, and what they have isnāt always great.
#i canāt let myself rewatch c1 i get too insane about it but good god#i say this as if itās not also the cast with c2 but alas#critical role#cr1#cr downfall#vox machina#the prime deities#someday iāll stop thinking about whitestone and itās not today#i like everyone else think a de rolo kids oneshot would be great but iām not like other girls i want it for the potential miniscule pieces#of whitestone lore#sorry if some of this is incoherent or unfactchecked iām sick and tired (literally)#and running off of chicken noodle soup and my foggy memory of like 20 hrs of c1 iāve watched while being unable to move . please forgive me
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Okay fuck it, Astarion with a Tav who's ace...
Him just being absolutely baffled that someone would like him for who he is and not for his body. It's so hard to believe because it's the only thing he's ever known, and yet Tav undeniably means it when they say they like him as a person, because sexual attraction isn't on the table for them.
Same thing with a demi Tav because again, they don't like him in a superficial manner simply because he's hot. They like him because they've come to trust him, and they appreciate his support, and they want to see him thrive, and maybe ontop of that they also think he's hot. But that's not the main thing they see about him. They see that because they first saw all those other things about him.
Idk okay, I just think he'd find it hard to accept that someone likes him for who he is, but once he actually learns to accept that reality, he's so, so grateful and never wants to let that person go again.
#astarion#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion x tav#asexual#demisexual#fuck having a mental breakdown over your sexuality#take that bitch and turn it into something your fave would absolutely adore you for#this message was brought to you by fern who decided to stop being sad because thinking about Astarion loving me for this is so much better#I'm sorry If I'm being incoherent but this is pure self indulgence
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Um, so, about Lucy Barker
*rant incoming*
you know that fandom phenomenon where female characters will literally get hated on for being interesting (free my girls they did all that but your honour i do not care). lucy barker did NOTHING. NOTHING to deserve the hellish events that unfolded in her life, and she still gets hate. i have many thoughts about this, many of which i cannot properly articulate.
im gonna be so honest, pre-ruthie ann miles, the sweeney fandom was not so kind to my girl as they are now (2023 toddhead nation you are everything to me) and this i think was mainly the burton film enjoyers who hardcore shipped sweenett in the most uninteresting way possible.
REAL sweeney/sweenett enjoyers know that lucy is a pivotal and interesting character who took nothing but ls from life, and that sweenett only works as a ship if what you love about it is how deeply problematic and messy it is. I rest my case.
#sorry for the incoherent rambling :)#'she deserved better' ehhh kinda i mean of course as a person she did but as a character her whole situation is kind of necessary#so im fine personally#but the fandom needs to stop being mean to her fr#free my girl she did literally nothing but get harassed#sweeney todd#lucy barker#ruthie ann miles
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The title card at the beginning of ofmd s2 ep5, The Curse of the Seafaring life, where the title is written in blood thatās being scrubbed away by a disembodied hand, makes me soooooo crazy. Itās so perfect. It wonderfully captures the thematic core of the episode. Episode 5 is the washing the blood away episode. itās the episode where our characters just kind of chill, reconcile, rebuild themselves after the kraken incident. So of course the title is blood being washed away. Edās arc in the episode is washing the metaphorical blood off his hands as he tries to reintegrate himself into the crew. Lucius is moving on, trying to quit picking his scabs for a changeā¦washing the blood away. Izzy is whittling sharks. 10/10 no notes.
#This is borderline incoherent sorry I just canāt stop thinking about s2 ep5#May be my favorite in the season#Makes sense bcus episode 5 was my favorite in the first season too tehe#ofmd#our flag means death#Ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#ofmd season 2#our flag means death spoilers#Our flag means death season 2#Izzy hands#Lucius spriggs#Edward teach
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okay but just thinking about how dark it is that Anthonyās kind of ultimate fantasy isnāt marrying Kate āitās being married to her sister while lusting after Kate, his honor about to SNAP
#like. where is the love. frankly it isnāt there!!!!!!!!#I know thatās not what the show thinks itās doing#BUT IT IS WHAT THE SHOW IS DOING#because there is no coherent reason he canāt just stop courting Edwina and marry Kate!!!#like. nothing that makes ACTUAL sense#because the show (book?) is driving so hard at creating a situation where heās torn apart by forbidden passion#that they are not thinking about creating something that makes reasonable sense#lust IS their goal! and/or the in between space that exists right before lust#and so if you actually examine it coherently it is just confusing cruelty#like him snarling āand it is not far eNOUGHā#is actually a) embarrassingly hilarious b) cruel??????????#because itās like. all about his own desire#the show pretends he is honorable. HE!!! IS !!!!!! NOT!!!!!!#thatās not what honor IS#and because all the stakes are lies/at the very least incoherent it creates something that celebrates something so dark#the end of lust is cruelty!!!!!!!!! and it accidentally shows that#like Iām so sorry Iām still talking about this and I will stop in a second (I just keep repeating myself)!#but his actual goal as a character is never to recognize his love/attraction for Kate and do something sensible about it#to forward his own happiness#the show is so badly written that his goal becomes to stay in the state of being both attracted to Kate and angry at her for it#because thatās what the show runners want to present its viewers#and that is actually SO. DARK.#to say that Darcy would n e v e r is so obvious I almost canāt even say it#itās not that Bridgerton is just silly itās that !!!!!!!! it is DARK
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I'll forever be frustrated about Skids plotline
(demonstrated through MTMTE and Lost Light panels)
Nautica became that someone for Skids, Amica Endurae who saw him for his kindness, she changed him for better
Then Lost Light basically applied that Nautica betrayed Skids and pointed out that she acted out of character
And it's all while we could have had completely adequate satisfying ending for his story arc (in MTMTE notebooks)
I'm sorry I can't take that anymore all stuff that happened was completely unnecessary to begin with ughhh WHY
#This is canon for me now#Not to mention such ending to Skids arc would be positive message to send#Killing Skids off don't make any sense especially the way it was done#What Rached couldn't stop him from moving? I'm sorry that's stupid#And what Nautica forgetting him gave? Nothing just sad for the sake of sad bullshit#How it was handled eats me alive it doesn't make damn sense#Literally all was needed is to comfort Skids cause none of what happened was his fault and boom all well#incoherent thoughts#mtmte#lost light#tf mtmte#mtmte skids#mtmte nautica#transformers#transformers mtmte#more than meets the eye#And don't get me started on pointless death of Nightbeat#Cuz that's another beef of mine#I didn't even finish reading Lost Light#idw skids#Skids#idw nautica#Nautica#tf skids#tf nautica#idw transformers#Mtmte notebooks#james roberts#maccadams#jro
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some lore. this may all change lol im still figuring stuff out but this is the general gist
#read my incoherent ramblings boy#my art#vld wc au#vld#kuron vld#so sorry for trashing the tags w my stupid au if this is annoying pls lmk and ill stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway. meet this au's lotor! hes honervas accomplice whos helping her get away with shit (and trying to dissuade allura from#investigating why local strays have been acting strange and disappearing)#'haha i love kuron i love this guy:)' i proceed to make him a whiny selfish asshole<3#he DOES switch sides at some point but its not bc hes disgusted with honervas experiments or anything#but bc she abandons him/loses interest in him when he stops being useful#so its for a very selfish reason! but later over time he starts realising that hmm maybe being a total asshole isnt Worth It after all
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helo. quietly i updated my pronouns in my description to be only xe/xem and not they/xe. i passed a text post that made me think about it andā¦. likeā¦. yeah it made me realize just how few people have ever alternated pronouns for me despite how long iāve had two sets (seven years!!) i just want people to Use my xe/xem sometimes you know. if i am so honest they feel more good and honest than they/them does, but even just getting people to use they is already so much. but i feel like itd be ok here
anyway. just xe/xem for now please. if you guys can
#a few people have#i remember beloved jay doing it once and like. i actually stopped to yell and kick my feet#got gender euphoria off of it#and. just. i want it back#rowan chatter#im not going to stop using they by the way. i dont hate they they is still special to me bit#its likeā¦. an everyday tshirt vs a comfy warm sweater. you get me#LMAO#im afraid im being mildly incoherent. im sorry
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i wanna know more about autism skulduggery
oh boy do I have some headcanons for you š
he doesn't like Christmas bc (iirc) of how excessive it is. Christmas is so much all the time for a month straight and it's overstimulating as hell. Instead of ever just saying that though, he'll just stick with 'i don't like Christmas'
People he's not close to call him cold/scary and say, fully believing it too, that he cares about no one but himself (and Valkyrie as others meet her) but that's just not true!! he cares about his friends a lot (first non Val example that comes to mind is him not telling anyone his theory on Saracen's magic. like he figured that out and kept it to himself until Saracen said something bc it was clearly an important secret), he just happens to have relatively few of those lmao
He's also been dressing in the same style for like,, a century there abouts? and has shown no interest in changing that any time soon, which, real as fuck
Also also, he does not give two fucks about what someone thinks of him. And if he doesn't like someone, they will know about it because why pretend otherwise? He can be cordial when necessary but like Guild? not even gonna try
Also also also, stimming!! (this is p much all entirely HC)
when he was a kid, he liked snapping his fingers (makes a sound AND an impact?? hell yeah) but, as you might imagine, the more he did elemental magic, the less he snapped until he stopped completely. Instead, he taps on things: arms, tables, steering wheel, files - pretty much whatever's in his hands at any given moment. The reason Valkyrie notices his tapping in phase one is because it's an irregular beat, when she's used to him tapping out something consistent and steady. Also, his gun. Tell me he's not using that thing as a fidget.
ok final thing, promise. He is so bad at emotions. and change. and the complicated emotions that go along with change. thinking about Lord Vile being the product of undealt with grief and anger and just that little bit of manipulation (thank you Abyssinia, slay) and how when Vile went away, those feelings did not. even in the present day, do we think he ever actually dealt with that? processed anything that's happened just in the books themselves? Mr Skulduggery 'Therapy Would Make Me Worse, Actually' Pleasant?? No, I don't think he did. Honestly I think him getting cats is the closest to therapy he's gonna get lmao
anyway, didn't mean to type up a fucking essay here but if anyone wants to hear more, I'm here forever š«¶
#if anyone adds onto this ill love you forever#if this is completely incoherent im sorry i started writing and couldn't stop#THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME ABOUT THIS ā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø#asks#skulduggery pleasant
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and sparrow's son loves the world so much and loves everyone around him and how can sparrow tell him that the world is cruel? how can he tell him that love will be punished and that cruelty is the only way to survive? normal's love scares him, he loves his son so much but that love scares him. he would do and has done anything for his son but he knows that it has led to his own ruin. and he loves his son but too much love has only ever harmed him and maybe he can take a model from his own dad and multitask.
maybe he can love his son but he hates him too, hates that normal can love and hates that normal can be loved and hates that normal can be so oblivious to the cruelty around him in a way that he himself lost when the world ended. he wants his son to have everything but loathes that fact that normal'll never try. that he just accepts life as it is. the way his dad did, when sparrow saluted henry and went along with the world's end and turned a blind eye to his wife's infidelity.
he sees himself in normal, maybe. maybe he hates that. because he lost himself, that day he lost his father's care and his mother's respect, and he can't bear to see himself lost again. normal needs to be cruel because otherwise he will be crushed and sparrow can't do that again. can't let himself be crushed again.
#dndads#dndads spoilers#i guess?#i'm sorry this is basically an extension of another rant i did on discord. so some points may not make complete sense but#i am so-- [wait i can't say normal fuck] regular. about the oaks#can you tell i think about them? can you tell?? did the art not convince you???#sorry if this is incoherent i am supposed to be writing an essay due in an hour but instead i wrote this.#hashtag no beta (not even myself) we die like hermie#this mainly goes off of the most recent episode and when sparrow told normal he wasn't proud. that whole interaction#yet again the point turns incomprehensible halfway though but we stay silly#also āhateā really isn't the right word for what i meant?#like the strength of the word is#but the general sentiment is just left of hate.#idk man#can't stop thinking about them#asdfdhg edit because i just. wrote the wrong name for one of the sentences. oops
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I still feel like i have a lot more research to do before i set plans in motion... but i think my Lady Stede costume is a toss up between a robe a la francaise or a robe a l'anglaise. (the design comes down to whether im wanting watteau pleats, essentially)
from what i can see, most the dresses in the show (or the ones im looking to take inspiration from anyway) are francaise- Evelyn's dress & Mary's wedding dress clearly have the back pleats. but. the yellow dress Mary wears when she shows stede the painting (and Stede the boat) sparks the most inspiration in me, and ive watched the clips numerous times, and i dont think? it has pleats.
basically what im saying is the costumes in the show are a little inconsistent and also vary the style up, so im not bound to any one style. historically, im thinking that the people in Barbados would be drawing more of their styles from England, rather than France, but i still dont think that actually limits me, just something to consider in my research.
things i know i want:
engagantes (sleeve ruffles)
a decent amount of trim (though not too much, as none of stedes costumes are that ott)
a contrast stomacher (which means it needs to be open front, i think?)
...and thats as far as ive made it. all superficial things really, but important points to look for when im looking extants, i guess.
(some images from the show to show what im thinking about)
(& a francaise and l'anglaise if youre completely lost on what they are)
this is all day 1 research, so i have a good ways to go before i really start to understand my options, but id love an opinion on what you think?
#if youve missed precious chatter abt this project! its based on stedes iconic blue suit#i have a plain blue for the base fabric and some other ones as stomacher options to mimic the waistcoat alreadyyy#i feel like francaise is the way to go. but i cant stop thinking about that yellow dress dude#i guess i should also think about con transport too. hm#a nightmare either way i think#the more i stare at that gif though (sorry 4 the quality i used tumblr generator from a youtube clip lol) it kinda? looks like shes got a#bum roll going on. hm#i wasnt planning on it n i dont think its appropriate for the inspi i was looking for anyway#the pleats def remove the need for that#and the no pleats seems to tuck in quite tight#honestly though. not too much faith taken in the costuming in this show. its vibes#and i love the vibes#but its making this bit hard#Lady Stede Build#<project tag :)#also today i learnt. evelyn has more than one dress. thats pretty cool#firsy i thought she had interchangeable stomachers. which is honestly cooler to me#thank u for tuning into todays ramble. im excitedddd#sorry 4 any incoherence. long weekend
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